My Second Appointment

I had my second doctor's appointment on Tuesday. First off, John was late meeting up with me, which made us both late getting to the doctor's office, and then we were even later because they kept us at the registration desk for 15 minutes! I absolutely despise being late so I wasn't very happy. I also felt as if this appointment wasn't going very well to start with. Pessimistic - I know.
The appointment was very short and we had to wait probably a total of 5 minutes - at the most. My doctor came in, tried listening to the baby's heartbeat through the Doppler, and couldn't hear anything but me. That's all she kept saying - "I can't hear the baby. I can just hear you." Obviously, that worried me, and I know it worried her, so she brought in the ultrasound machine. My doctor still couldn't hear anything. Not one, single, thing. At that point, I lost it. I absolutely lost it. I was devastated. I knew what it meant, even though it seemed as if there was a "gray area". My doctor told me that she didn't see "good stuff" and wanted to send me to radiology for a more advanced ultrasound. Since my doctor didn't come right out and tell me that there had been a fetal demise, I think that's why I felt as if there was a "gray area". I was also concerned when I saw '8 weeks, 2 days' on the ultrasound screen when I'm supposed to be '11 weeks, 5 days'.

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